When I sat down to think about what to write for this column, it came to me clear as day. I knew right away what I should share. Of course, sitting down and actually putting thought to paper hasn’t proved as easy. My fear (or, at least, my hesitation) is that my words will label me a “liberal” or “watered-down”. Anyone who knows me well (or, for that matter, anyone who has ever met me) knows that I pretty much say exactly what’s in my brain. The filter that everyone has that regulates one’s brain contents from flowing out of one’s mouth, well, doesn’t exist in my head. Sometimes this gets me in trouble and sometimes it’s refreshing. I fear this is one of those times when it’s going to get me in trouble. Oh well, time to shake things up a little bit. Are you ready for it? Here it is:
Christians: stop imposing your world view on people whose view is different than yours.
Radical? Maybe, but hear me out. If you are a mission-minded person, or “evangelical” in nature (as I am) we have been trained to believe that our views are right and must be shared as loudly and as frequently as possible to all who are within earshot. Don’t get me wrong, the relationship I have with my Lord is something I truly want other people to experience. What I have a hard time with is how can I communicate this in a way that esteems the person I am talking to you and actually shows respect for their different world view? Let me give a quick illustration. I love wine gums (or, as I like to call them, “God Candy”). If I were to meet someone on the street who has never had a wine gum, and actually has never eaten candy, how can I share with them how amazing they are? How the flavours are completely different than the usual artificial flavours fed to us in every other sweet confection? How the texture is a cross between chewy and melt-in-your-mouth? From that person’s perspective, they are happy with their own food and see no need for wine gums. How can I get them to experience this new candy? Why won’t they understand that this candy is better than anything else they’ve ever tasted?
When I first met my wife, over 16 years ago, she introduced me to a new word: PARADIGM. The dictionary defines paradigm as “a set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them”. Karen was hooked into a community of people who were determined to share the good news of Christ in a way that honored the paradigm of the people they were reaching. If it was an intellectual crowd, then reason, discussion, debating & philosophy formed the foundation for their evangelism. If it was an artistic crowd, where “acceptance and free-thinking” was almost a mantra, then perhaps an overt discussion on sin & condemnation might not have been the most effective route to establishing friendships. I was so impressed with this crowd (and my future wife) for their desire to build authentic friendships based on the interests of others, not themselves. And you know what? It worked! People who had, for so long, been burned by the judgementalism associated with “Bible thumpers”, now began to seek out what this group of Christians had.
Steven Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, understood the power of paradigm. His fifth habit is: seek first to understand, then to be understood. Covey wrote this book mostly for leadership development in the business world, but Christians can learn a lot from this habit (and it is a habit: it’s gonna take some work!).
So, yes, I want to see my neighbours and friends experience the most out of a walk with Jesus Christ – but I’m convinced I will be more effective if I can build a relationship with them based on understanding the paradigm they come from and what makes them who they are. After all, it’s not really about me. Unless you’re talking about wine gums, then, well, you really should try them just ‘cuz I say so!
No comments:
Post a Comment