Kev's Column: Tolerance

Tolerance

We live in a fairly homogeneous area of the country. That is to say, with just a few exceptions, we are all pretty much the same. We go to work and school with people who are very similar to us. We play hockey and go to movies with people who are in the same life-stage as ourselves. I’m sure, if we were to do a demographics study, that the majority of people reading this are middle-class, Caucasian, high-school graduated individuals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is the same in every region of the world. Even in multicultural cities like New York, Toronto and London, like finds like and ethnic neighboods spring up. In biblical times, the people of the world were divided into tribes and were recognized by what they did, what they looked like, and what language they spoke. Sociologists will tell you these communities offer safety and security. They instill in our children a sense of belonging and provide a social fabric for us all to thrive. I’m cool with that. But what happens when someone very different than us is plopped in the middle of our safe community. Do we welcome them, with all their uniqueness and differences, into the bubble of familiarity we’ve created? Do we, slowly and quietly, set about on a campaign to change them into who we would like them to be? Do we ignore them and hope that someone else will welcome them and accept them? Or do we actively reject them as someone who doesn’t fit in? Doesn’t “belong”?

I’m not even talking about race or religion here. I’m talking about people who are different in even subtler ways, almost imperceptible. I’m talking about the family in our church that can’t afford new clothes and may look a little ragged on Sundays (not knowing that the husband was laid off over 6 months ago and cannot find work). I’m talking about the older gentleman we avoid because of his smell (not knowing that stepping in a bathtub and reaching to wash himself is a painful chore). I’m talking about, and this one is close to my heart, the 23-year old woman that you know recently graduated from a Girls’ Home, so therefore must have serious problems and is probably not a great influence on your children, right? (Of course you have no way of knowing that she was in the Home because of some serious abuse inflicted on her as a child).

A wise man once said to me, and I’ve never forgotten it, that when we judge other people, even remotely, we are saying to God, “I don’t like the way you made him. I think, honestly, I could’ve done a better job.” If this sounds implausible, listen to this: in a recent survey of 931 self-designated Christians in Britain, 37%, when asked, said they would do a better job than God of presiding over a just and righteous universe.

37%! Can you believe it? I can. If, by my actions, I am constantly criticizing others, refusing to accept their differences and making judgments I am complaining to God and questioning His creative choices, then, yes, I can believe it. If we (and I’m including myself here) want the world to be safer, healthier and “ better” for our children and grandchildren, it’s time we stopped playing “God” and prayed for tolerance beyond that which we find natural.

©2006 Kevin Stenhouse

Kevin Stenhouse is Executive Director of New Life Girls’ Home in Consecon, a ministry providing a safe place for young women coming out of addictive or abusive lifestyles.