Who is the Lord of Your Past?
I haven't lived a charmed life. I have many experiences in my past that are unpleasant, regrettable and shame-filled. I have (like most of the people reading this) lied, cheated and stolen. I have hurt people (especially with my words) and I have been hurt.
When I was a boy I mocked and teased and bullied. As a teenager I lashed out at my folks and rebelled in some pretty unpleasant ways. I have not always been the model husband and the most patient father. In my ministry I haven't always "practiced what I preached" and, even today, I fall back into habits that were cultivated 10, 20, even 30 years ago.
I don't want to paint the picture that I'm a horrible person. You won't find bodies in my basement or secret files buried in my backyard. I haven't left a trail of wounded relationships or been convicted of any major crimes (well, I guess it depends on what you consider major ... just kidding!). But I do want to be really honest; the crud that you've gone through, I've gone through too.
Here's why I bring this up: I've been thinking a lot lately about how what I've done in the past still affects me today. I do my best to live an upright life today. For the most part I don't have the "issues" that I had as a teenager. Ninety-nine per cent of the time I'm able to keep my temper under control. All that being said, every now and then I'll behave in a certain way, or think a certain thought, and it'll strike me that that is just the way I would've behaved/thought when I was eight years old ... or 16 ... or 22. What's with that? I thought, as a Christian, "all things become new"? I thought that God would give me "the desires of my heart"? How come I'm still "haunted" (too strong of a word, but you know what I mean) by things that happened all those years ago?
Then it struck me: we spend all this time praying for God to help us with something we're dealing with right now (the present) and for God to give us peace/wisdom/patience about something coming up (the future). But how often do we acknowledge that He has the power over what is in our past?
One of my favourite recording artists, Bob Bennett, wrote a song called, appropriately, Lord Of The Past:
"Lord of the here and now, Lord of the "come what may"
I want to believe somehow that you can heal these wounds of yesterday
(You can redeem these things so far away)
So now I'm asking You, do what You want to do
Be the Lord of the past, oh how I want You to be
the Lord of the past."
This song sums up exactly what I've been feeling these last few weeks.
Are you tired of carrying the baggage of mistakes or experiences that you wish had never happened? Give it up -- let God be EVERYTHING that He promised to be ... including the Lord of your past!
When I was a boy I mocked and teased and bullied. As a teenager I lashed out at my folks and rebelled in some pretty unpleasant ways. I have not always been the model husband and the most patient father. In my ministry I haven't always "practiced what I preached" and, even today, I fall back into habits that were cultivated 10, 20, even 30 years ago.
I don't want to paint the picture that I'm a horrible person. You won't find bodies in my basement or secret files buried in my backyard. I haven't left a trail of wounded relationships or been convicted of any major crimes (well, I guess it depends on what you consider major ... just kidding!). But I do want to be really honest; the crud that you've gone through, I've gone through too.
Here's why I bring this up: I've been thinking a lot lately about how what I've done in the past still affects me today. I do my best to live an upright life today. For the most part I don't have the "issues" that I had as a teenager. Ninety-nine per cent of the time I'm able to keep my temper under control. All that being said, every now and then I'll behave in a certain way, or think a certain thought, and it'll strike me that that is just the way I would've behaved/thought when I was eight years old ... or 16 ... or 22. What's with that? I thought, as a Christian, "all things become new"? I thought that God would give me "the desires of my heart"? How come I'm still "haunted" (too strong of a word, but you know what I mean) by things that happened all those years ago?
Then it struck me: we spend all this time praying for God to help us with something we're dealing with right now (the present) and for God to give us peace/wisdom/patience about something coming up (the future). But how often do we acknowledge that He has the power over what is in our past?
One of my favourite recording artists, Bob Bennett, wrote a song called, appropriately, Lord Of The Past:
"Lord of the here and now, Lord of the "come what may"
I want to believe somehow that you can heal these wounds of yesterday
(You can redeem these things so far away)
So now I'm asking You, do what You want to do
Be the Lord of the past, oh how I want You to be
the Lord of the past."
This song sums up exactly what I've been feeling these last few weeks.
Are you tired of carrying the baggage of mistakes or experiences that you wish had never happened? Give it up -- let God be EVERYTHING that He promised to be ... including the Lord of your past!
© 2006 Kevin Stenhouse
The County Weekly News Friday, September 8, 2006
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