Tears streaming down my face ...

Kevin is playing the piano tonight ... going through one of my old music compilation binders. He started playing "Here I Am, Lord", written by Bob Nickling, then of the Guelph Vineyard Church. Powerful, amazing song about Bob's life ... the running away from God, then his choice to stay, to follow, to honour God.

The thing is, Bob died last year. Cancer. He was not old.

Hearing this song again caught me ... in that thin margin between busyness, unawareness and sleep ... a "moment" more colourful than the ones surrounding it.

Here are the lyrics ... I wish you could hear the music as well.

Here I Am Lord
R. Nickling, Dec. 1991

Before I breathed, You knew me O Lord
Your hand touching my life
And deep inside, I knew it O Lord
But for so long I denied ... but for so long I denied ...

Chorus:
Here I am Lord, take my life (take my life)
A total surrender is what I must give
GIve up this life, that I might live
Here I am Lord, take my hand (take my hand)
I'll follow your lead to the end of the world
I'll follow you Lord, wherever You go
'Cause since I found You, where else could I go?

And even as I wandered, O Lord
You just kept calling my name
And even when I stumbled, O Lord
Your love for me didn't change ... Your love for me didn't change.

Now I'm tired of running, O Lord
I've reached the end of me
Now it's me that's calling, O Lord
Come set this prisoner free (set him free) ... come set this prisoner free.


I remember so clearly our group doing this song, at our church and at others. We connected over it. I recall Bob saying sheepishly once, when someone asked how he had taught us to sing together so well, his response: "Well, it's like this. I play the intro, and tell them to sing. And they do! And it comes out like that!" He was a humble guy.

And he is free now, Lord. Free from illness, free from worldly cares that tried to gag him and tear him down. And he no longer has to run.

Thank you.